Not exactly in any order...

-Played some of the Call of Duty 4 single player campaign
-Unpacked my bags from Sunday
-Washed my clothes
-Washed my bedsheets
-Made an '09-'10 school year "to do" list
-Watched a couple of episodes of Futurama
-Cleaned my floor
-Met a giant fish
-Changed my floor lamp into a desk lamp
-Facebooked my elementary school teacher
-Called my girlfriend
-Restocked my fridge
-Ate chicken wings
-Washed my face
-Walked the pig
-Your mom
-Checked my voice mail
-Phoned home
-Watched South Park
-Thought about shaving
-Opened the books necessary to complete my homework
-Watched the latest Zero Punctuation
-Interrupted Taylor Swift's award speech
-Fought Kanye West in an epic sword battle
-Won said epic sword battle
-Played hoop and a stick
-Thought about writing this blog entry
-Wrote this blog entry
-Bombed the Russians (like a boss, of course)Above: Found this picture and added a caption

Oh, Ms. Milani; you tease us so with your pearly white smile, perfect body and your gigantic fucking tits! What the fuck is up with this? What exactly are you waiting for? I mean, if you're waiting for some modeling deal because you, unlike 90% of other models with huge tits, showed some dignity and didn't jump into the porn industry? Fuck that. It ain't gonna happen. The only reason anyone pays any attention to you is because of your massive sweater cows. No one has any respect for you. In fact, if you didn't have those chest bazookas (I love boob puns), then you would just be any of hot women, which in this day and age with the interwebs and what not, isn't that special. I have to hand it to you, though. You make people PAY (that is NOT spelling or grammatical error) for people to view photos and videos of yourself with a top on! I've had the displeasure to watch one of these videos (Albany gets lonely D':) where at the very end, you turn around and take off your top. What the Miguzi?! That is complete bullshit! Good thing I didn't pay for it like those other suckers. You know what you are? You're a con-artist! You trick all these fucks into buying a membership to your bullshit site knowing FULL WELL that all they want to see are your boingly-doinglies. And they will continue to wait because they're dipshits. But that's not my problem. One of two things are gonna happen: 1) everyone is going to catch on to your little facade and stop paying out of their ass to get teased or 2) you're going to get old and and your big kahunas are going to be dragging behind you. No one wants to see that (not including you sick fucks out there, and you know who you are!).

Rainy days in Albany sure do suck.

Every now and then, something happens to someone out that just makes them think "That would happen to me!" But more so often than others this happens with me. So I've decided to document these events whenever they occur and share them with the rest of the world, however mundane they are.

Once upon a typical summer day, I decided I was going to play some video games. But, the batteries on my Wii remote were running low, so to save the trouble of having to pause mid-game I took a trip to the store to buy batteries. I took my keys and money and left out. No problems here.

The next day my friend, Quoc, invited to hang out and I said yes. When it came around the time I was supposed to leave I, like the scatter-brain that I am, couldn't find my keys. I checked all of the places that I would normally throw them when I walk into the room and everywhere in between with no luck. Not even my mother, who usually finds everything that I lose, couldn't find them. They were nowhere to be found! It seemed as if they were taken into the abyss (more on the abyss later). Or were they...

...Which brings me to the final part of the story.This morning my alarm woke me up a little later than I would have . It was 6:50am and I had set the alarm the alarm to 6:30am. Given, the alarm volume was set very low for reasons I don't understand and it was dangling off the lower edge of my bed still attached to the charger, but that's not important. As I was getting ready to go to the gym (gotta look good for the lady), I was looking through sock drawer for socks that don't go all the way up to my knees when I decided that I would just empty the whole damn thing and search for it that way. You already know where this is going, so I'll skip the shit. Right at the bottom of my drawer were those fucking keys! I had to borrow my mom's keys or hope to god that someone was awake at 1:30am for about half the summer. But alas, there's nothing I can do about it now. How did they even get there?! How dose that even happen? I certainly don't have the foggiest idea. That would happen to me.

This wasn't as original as I originally thought it would be. So, here's this to tie you over:
Woah! Check out those moves!

But then again, who doesn't? OK, not everybody does, but I'm sure if a math major finds them self in a class about, oh say, Egyptian Archaeology they wouldn't have anything better to do? I mean, I... I mean they could listen to the professor drone on about the Egyptians and how great they are and about how he masturbates to the very thought of them every night before he goes to sleep, but what would I gain? If anything, they're building a skill set that they could use in the future in case that whole math thing doesn't quite pan out. They could sell art on to collectors in New York or illustrate for children's books or turn tricks in the back alley for crack. "Whatever floats your (their) boat" I always say.

But I digress. On to the doodle of the day, which also happens to be the mascot of my blog. His name is McFinder and here's his back story. Born in Fishnchipsland, he was the son of Carmen San Francisco and Loldo, they immediately left him as soon as he was born. Their whereabouts are still unknown to this day, although Loldo was once sited a carnival and once more in King Arthur's castle. He spent most of his the first 4 years of his life in an orphanage being run by a German hooker (and a damn good one at that ;D) until he was adopted by a strange gentleman who went by the name of Johan Von Bunny (no relation to the notorious cereal murderer of their time, Rapey Von Bunny). Johan taught the young McFinder from day one how to be a gentleman. Johan loved McFinder as if he had given birth to him himself. But when McFinder was 15 tragedy struck the Von Bunny household. Johan was struck by a blimp. From that day on, McFinder vowed be the greatest gentleman in all the land in honor of Johan and to find the whereabouts of his parents, no matter what it took. Even if it meant murder! OK maybe not murder. But still, that nigga was serious.

Anyway, here he is in all of his gentlemanly glory.

Woah, that resolution was shitter than I thought it would be. But I'm not gonna scan that crap again. Shit took too long. So what do you guys think, all two of you and any unlucky schmuck that finds himself on my blog?

OK. The title may be a little misleading. It says "before it was cool" which is completely untrue because it's cool right now. Seriously. This blog's gonna blow up faster than (insert witty pop-culture reference here).

But anyway, onto business. I have to confess something to everyone right here and now. I'm addicted to an powerful and debilitating drug. One that will most likely cause my inevitable downfall. It's called Gears of War 2, or the more popular slang term "gears", and it has a stranglehold on my sanity. The way gears works is that it releases certain chemicals within the brain which makes one experience feelings of euphoria or simply fooling them into thinking that they're having fun when, in fact, this is not the case but far from it. Once the user is peaking in violent, reckless and necessary elation, the drug kicks in. It's called "Losing is AGo" (that fictitious drug name sucked, wanna fight about it?!) or LAG for short. The drug has many side effects some of which include wanting to destroy your XBOX 360 or anything else you can get your hands on, yell profanities into the microphone, or insult other users' mothers. But there is a fix, but it is just as unethical as actually using gears; bridging host. User who bridge host do not feel any of the negative side of effects of LAG, only the euphoria. If you yourself, or anyone you know is an abuser, call this toll-free hot line at 1-(800)-GETALYF or 1-(800)-438-2593. Help stop gears abuse.

By the way, if you're an abuser, leave your Gamertag in the comments 'cause my trigger finger is itchin' like my crotch after I did your mom.

What the fuck has happened to all of our beloved cartoons? I was watching Cartoon Network (let's face it, everything else on TV sucks, 'cept House M.D.; that shit is CRAZY) and I've been very disappointed with their newest attempts at "entertainment". I'm talking about "CN Real." Every single show on their shitty "real" line is a complete joke and waste of everyone's time. Why don't we take a more in-depth look at these atrocities:

Above: The death of an era.

SURVIVE THIS!
A bunch of winy little twits with stuck in the wilderness with a pedophile. Not sure if there's a point to all of it, but I DO know that it's bunch of weapon's grade bolonium. When one of those little shits got her lip stuck in a Swiss army knife (don't ask me how this happens) they had to rush paramedics in to get her unstuck. Yeah. Fuck this show.

Above: If I had my way with the show. (Gee, I sure do love MS Paint!)

Dude, What Would Happen?
I think I'll approach this from a different angle; I'm gonna let them do the talking for me. Here's ACTUAL dialog from the ACTUAL show. Nothing was changed. Nothing at all. Really.
Fucktard 1: Dude, what would happen if we came up with a genuinely clever, entertaining idea.
Fucktard 2 & 3: Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (drool)
Fucktard 1: Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (jerks off)
All Fucktards: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
(Jizz from a punching bag)
End
Here's what I think, as if it wasn't already obvious:

Brainrush
Its a game show where three undeserving fucks are chosen at random at theme park to answer random trivia questions (wait for it) ON A ROLLER COASTER! This is the only one of the shows that manages to be somewhat entertaining, until you saw the second episode and realize you're going to be seeing a lot of the same old shit for the rest of the season. Why? Because there are three roller coasters. Fuck off.

You know what? I don't even know any of the other sad excuses for entertainment are. I just hope, really really hope, that anyone doesn't watch this shit and enjoy it. And don't get me started on Johnny Test. Anything that was ever good on that network is now on Boomerang. If this channel is not part of your package, get off your ass and order that shit. Also, watch Flapjack and Chowder. They're good. Seriously.

What's your opinion on their newest line up (as if it matters)? Sound off in the comments!

I'm starting this blog because, like most college students with no social life, I have nothing better to do on my spare time which I have a lot of... ladies. "So what exactly is this blog about?", you ask? You didn't? Well, I'll tell you anyway; in its purest essence, nothing. I'm just gonna come on here whenever I have a thought that I feel like sharing with the rest of the world, however mind-bogglingly (try saying THAT ten times fast) clever and profound or unoriginal it is. I mean, this is my blog and I can do whatever I want with it. ANYTHING! Even forcing it to perform sexual favors for me. And there will be A LOT of them. And they will be sick. And twisted. And there will be blood. Oh, so much blood. Even more so than Kent's period, but more on that later. Anyway, if you found any of this in the least bit entertaining, then you should go ahead and click that little button that says "follow" over there on the right. I'd appreciate it. A lot. But not as much as those sexual favors that I mentioned earlier that this page will perform for me. Good day, everyone.