Cartoon Network, we knew ye well.
What the fuck has happened to all of our beloved cartoons? I was watching Cartoon Network (let's face it, everything else on TV sucks, 'cept House M.D.; that shit is CRAZY) and I've been very disappointed with their newest attempts at "entertainment". I'm talking about "CN Real." Every single show on their shitty "real" line is a complete joke and waste of everyone's time. Why don't we take a more in-depth look at these atrocities:
Above: The death of an era.
SURVIVE THIS!
A bunch of winy little twits with stuck in the wilderness with a pedophile. Not sure if there's a point to all of it, but I DO know that it's bunch of weapon's grade bolonium. When one of those little shits got her lip stuck in a Swiss army knife (don't ask me how this happens) they had to rush paramedics in to get her unstuck. Yeah. Fuck this show.
Above: If I had my way with the show. (Gee, I sure do love MS Paint!)
Dude, What Would Happen?
I think I'll approach this from a different angle; I'm gonna let them do the talking for me. Here's ACTUAL dialog from the ACTUAL show. Nothing was changed. Nothing at all. Really.
Fucktard 1: Dude, what would happen if we came up with a genuinely clever, entertaining idea.
Fucktard 2 & 3: Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (drool)
Fucktard 1: Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (jerks off)
All Fucktards: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
(Jizz from a punching bag)
End
Here's what I think, as if it wasn't already obvious:
Brainrush
Its a game show where three undeserving fucks are chosen at random at theme park to answer random trivia questions (wait for it) ON A ROLLER COASTER! This is the only one of the shows that manages to be somewhat entertaining, until you saw the second episode and realize you're going to be seeing a lot of the same old shit for the rest of the season. Why? Because there are three roller coasters. Fuck off.
You know what? I don't even know any of the other sad excuses for entertainment are. I just hope, really really hope, that anyone doesn't watch this shit and enjoy it. And don't get me started on Johnny Test. Anything that was ever good on that network is now on Boomerang. If this channel is not part of your package, get off your ass and order that shit. Also, watch Flapjack and Chowder. They're good. Seriously.
What's your opinion on their newest line up (as if it matters)? Sound off in the comments!
Above: The death of an era.
A bunch of winy little twits with stuck in the wilderness with a pedophile. Not sure if there's a point to all of it, but I DO know that it's bunch of weapon's grade bolonium. When one of those little shits got her lip stuck in a Swiss army knife (don't ask me how this happens) they had to rush paramedics in to get her unstuck. Yeah. Fuck this show.
Above: If I had my way with the show. (Gee, I sure do love MS Paint!)
I think I'll approach this from a different angle; I'm gonna let them do the talking for me. Here's ACTUAL dialog from the ACTUAL show. Nothing was changed. Nothing at all. Really.
Fucktard 1: Dude, what would happen if we came up with a genuinely clever, entertaining idea.
Fucktard 2 & 3: Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (drool)
Fucktard 1: Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (jerks off)
All Fucktards: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
(Jizz from a punching bag)
End
Here's what I think, as if it wasn't already obvious:
Brainrush
Its a game show where three undeserving fucks are chosen at random at theme park to answer random trivia questions (wait for it) ON A ROLLER COASTER! This is the only one of the shows that manages to be somewhat entertaining, until you saw the second episode and realize you're going to be seeing a lot of the same old shit for the rest of the season. Why? Because there are three roller coasters. Fuck off.
You know what? I don't even know any of the other sad excuses for entertainment are. I just hope, really really hope, that anyone doesn't watch this shit and enjoy it. And don't get me started on Johnny Test. Anything that was ever good on that network is now on Boomerang. If this channel is not part of your package, get off your ass and order that shit. Also, watch Flapjack and Chowder. They're good. Seriously.
What's your opinion on their newest line up (as if it matters)? Sound off in the comments!
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Shit in 'dis bitch:
Ramblings
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